Addlebrained

(ad-l-breynd) adj.
    My Dearest Robert,
    This morning, as I awoke, I was welcomed by the sunrise and the fresh cold of dew upon the grass.  From my window I heard a cluster of sparrows twitter as they fought amongst themselves for a moist Cheeto that was eventually stolen from the lot by a crow.  
    I’m breaking up with you.

Apology

(uh-pol-uh-jee) n. A statement made after error with the intention of absolving said error.  An air of sincerity is generally suggested.  

ex. I am sorry I am a lazy idiot who abandoned his blog for several weeks.  I was busy graduating high school.